Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
An engineer told me
before he died,
Ah-hum, ah-hum.
An engineer told me
before he died,
I have no reason to believe he lied,
Ah-hum,
titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
titty-bum.
An engineer told me before he died,
And I
have no reason to believe that he lied,
(Chorus)
That no matter whatever he tried,
His girlfriend was never
satisfied!
(Chorus) That girl she had a @#%$ so wide
She
could never be satisfied,
(Chorus) The engineer was
a designer,
Measured the bore of her vagina,
(Chorus)
Then he built her a @#%$ of steel,
Powered by a bloody great
wheel,
(Chorus) Yes he built a bloody great wheel,
Two
brass balls and a @#%$ of steel
(Chorus) Two balls
of brass were filled with cream,
And the whole bloody issue
was driven by steam.
(Chorus) He tied his girl to
the leg of the bed,
Tied her hands above her head,
(Chorus)
There she lay demanding a @#%$,
He shook her hand and wished
her luck,
(Chorus) Round and round went the bloody
great wheel,
In and out went the @#%$ of steel,
(Chorus)
Up and up went the level of steam,
Down and down went the
level of cream.
(Chorus) Till at last the maiden
cried,
"Enough! Enough! I am satisfied!"
(Chorus)
Now we come to the tragic bit,
There was no way of stopping
it,
(Chorus) It went like the piston of a train,
He
should have fitted a gearing chain,
(Chorus) Clouds
of steam blew out the top,
There wasn't a way to make it stop,
(Chorus) She was split from ass to tit,
And the whole
@#%$ thing was covered in @#%$,
(Chorus) It jumped
off her, it jumped on him,
And then it buggered their next of
kin,
(Chorus) It jumped on a departing bus,
And
the mess it made caused quite a fuss,
(Chorus) The
last time, Sir, that @#%$ was seen,
Was in Buckingham Palace
@#%$ the Queen,
(Chorus) There's a moral to the
story I tell,
If you see it coming better run like hell,
(Chorus) Nine months later a child was born,
With two
brass balls and a bloody great horn,
(Chorus) The
warning in the story is,
Always fit a safety switch,
(Chorus) The crux of the matter is plain to be seen,
You
should never trust a @#%$ MACHINE!