Engineers Song

Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-hum, ah-hum.
An engineer told me before he died,
I have no reason to believe he lied,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum.
An engineer told me before he died,
And I have no reason to believe that he lied,

(Chorus) That no matter whatever he tried,
His girlfriend was never satisfied!

(Chorus) That girl she had a @#%$ so wide
She could never be satisfied,

(Chorus) The engineer was a designer,
Measured the bore of her vagina,

(Chorus) Then he built her a @#%$ of steel,
Powered by a bloody great wheel,

(Chorus) Yes he built a bloody great wheel,
Two brass balls and a @#%$ of steel

(Chorus) Two balls of brass were filled with cream,
And the whole bloody issue was driven by steam.

(Chorus) He tied his girl to the leg of the bed,
Tied her hands above her head,

(Chorus) There she lay demanding a @#%$,
He shook her hand and wished her luck,

(Chorus) Round and round went the bloody great wheel,
In and out went the @#%$ of steel,

(Chorus) Up and up went the level of steam,
Down and down went the level of cream.

(Chorus) Till at last the maiden cried,
"Enough! Enough! I am satisfied!"

(Chorus) Now we come to the tragic bit,
There was no way of stopping it,

(Chorus) It went like the piston of a train,
He should have fitted a gearing chain,

(Chorus) Clouds of steam blew out the top,
There wasn't a way to make it stop,

(Chorus) She was split from ass to tit,
And the whole @#%$ thing was covered in @#%$,

(Chorus) It jumped off her, it jumped on him,
And then it buggered their next of kin,

(Chorus) It jumped on a departing bus,
And the mess it made caused quite a fuss,

(Chorus) The last time, Sir, that @#%$ was seen,
Was in Buckingham Palace @#%$ the Queen,

(Chorus) There's a moral to the story I tell,
If you see it coming better run like hell,

(Chorus) Nine months later a child was born,
With two brass balls and a bloody great horn,

(Chorus) The warning in the story is,
Always fit a safety switch,

(Chorus) The crux of the matter is plain to be seen,
You should never trust a @#%$ MACHINE!


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